DARWIN AND THE APES

By Dode Sescri

WORDS TO ELATE

Fifteenth Agenda

Copyright © 2016 DODE

Smashwords Edition

No part of this book should be redistributed without prior permission from the author, both in print, portable digital format and online.

Disclaimer

All readers are welcome to challenge the contents of this book, and should process them with their uttermost intellectual capabilities before they can assess them for reference purposes because they are largely a work of the author’s own imaginations.

The stories given as examples in this book do not represent Factual or historical events but have been used fictitiously to bring out the literal aspects of discussions and also demonstrate authors intended thoughts and ideas exemplarily. Do not take them too seriously.

This book is stacked up of numerous mini chapters the author refers to as theories. Each theory stands for each idea or topic of discussion.

You will also find some non-English words, the author has used them only for the sake of enhancing description. They are not a result of typo.

Table of Contents

Contention

Theory-1- lifeless bones

Theory-2- hymns of the great apes

Theory-3- the bite of an ape

Theory-4- chimpanzee fire

Theory-5- the hominid gang

Theory-6- the new doctrine

Theory-7- weird folklore

Theory-8- ape thinking

Theory-9- worthless knowledge

Final clause

More of Wotes.

Footnotes.

Contention.

The theme and purpose of this book is not to defame the deceased adventurer, explorer and scientist, but to pass out an argument that contradicts the beliefs he left behind, the beliefs that a huge proportion of scientists across the globe now uphold and put into daily practices, it is therefore in my conscience to challenge his works just as he had challenged the works of others. In this narrative, I am going to give my point of view in reference to statements he and other researchers left behind.

Each person can believe whatever they want, I have my own faith to cling to, the purposes of this narrative is for amusements purposes mostly, some of the information here may appear inaccurate, incomplete or utterly foolish, anyways I wish every reader a fast-paced enchanting read.

Theory-1-lifeless bones.

Every time I look at works of presentations of these scientists all I see is a piece of lifeless bones skilfully stacked together to form what looks like an animal. Then they turn their heads towards you, they look at you straight into the eyes saying, “this creature once lived long ago, now it's dead,” they have given them names, its bones were carefully recovered from a quarry site now reconstructed to make it appear as close as possible to what it was before it perished.

The visitor then says, “A very wonderful piece of art, I see, I congratulate you for your hard work, you have laboured intensively to make this thing a magnificent tourist attraction but there is one thing you forgot to do, one last modelling procedure before I am completely convinced. Use your scientific knowledge to make it live again, how would I know that these are real bones and not whitewashed wood carvings, they could be some molten cave rocks. There are specimens where artisans placed flesh and skin with all its colour patterns engraved on them. Breathe life into it so that I would believe you. How would we know they are real bones and not a pair of logs and twigs put together by a clever artist, only if you make them live shall I believe you.”

None of these men has lived long enough to see a century pass, let alone a millennium. How long exactly is a trillion years? There is no such thing as a trillion when it comes to years, only ten, a hundred and a thousand years, is the only logical time scale for humans to think about. The more I listen to these fellows the more I relate their stories to fairy tales, just like the ones my grandmother taught me when I was young. They are nothing more but crazy children's stories, fairy tales designed to confuse me. He has not lived to see fifty yet he claims he knows how long a trillion years is.

Archaeology created many jobs, the fear they have is that if they credit all this work to a creator, then it will summarise all their lifetimes worth of work, people will no longer listen to their teachings and they will lose their incomes, their jobs, science will no longer have value or meaning if everything can be made by a single creator. Deep inside their minds each one of them knows the truth, it's just that they won't openly speak about it.

Five thousand trillion years? Wow! How exactly long is that? You are not even fifty years old, unless you created yourself, you found the world here, it's absurd you claim to know something that was already here long before you were born, you don’t even know where you were before you came here.

If a housefly lives only for six and a half days, how can it know the length of months and years, like that of a human.

After they have stated their evidences, they give off lame claims that their ancestors died with that knowledge a long time ago and therefore have no way to prove anything any further.

These scientists they are so smartly outspoken such that when you listen to their sermons you are left in great amazement, when you listen to their discussions you might be led to think they were there when the world was made. They could certainly claim they watched the birth of mother earth. "how do you know the age of planet earth?" they are asked, they answer, "we smelled and tasted the rocks of the caves, this gives us enough clues how old she is, just the way you taste your vegetables, when they are stale, you know they have been on the shelves for too long, but when they look turgid and smell fresh, you know at once they are recently from the fields,"

Theory-2- hymns of the great apes.

The apes gather around a tree stump to meet their master, they begin to sing in chorus to their master and discoverer…

Darwiin   daaawiin Oohh Ooohh Darwin

He Is the great adventurer, who is like him?

He travels many lands

Finds new things

A great philosopher of the apes

The mighty king Kong

Darwiin   daaawiin Oohh Ooohh Darwin

Darwiin   daaawiin Oohh Ooohh Darwin

♫♬

Darwin’s song of the great apes, as it came to be known. They sing, Darwin, the wise  curator of the forest, what a wonderful thing it is you are here with us, to see our troops, whom can speak the language of the apes like he?, who can walk the tight rope? None other than he,

Who can swing on the tree branches like a pendulum?

None other than he,

Darwin Darwin the great.

They slam the tables, “cheers to the great apes.”

All the apes are gathered together under one tree trunk to pay tribute to their long gone master, the large and the small, those with tails and those that do not have tails, others with thick fur, others with sharp teeth, some are slow while others are fast, those that eat fruits and those that eat flesh. There are apes that live high in the tropical rainforests, others roam the open savannah grasslands.

The chimpanzee, the smartest among them becomes their judge, the gorilla maintains order

Long before this, young Darwin would leave his lab to attend to his large ape family in his backyard, where he had kept them. Now he's gone there's no one to attend to them. So they decide to conduct their own meeting

Theory-3- the bite of an ape.

"Hey sire Darwin" a fruit vendor picks a coconut and hands it over to the young man, (a renowned researcher and long-time student of Darwin) "you say that your ape ancestors could rip open a sea shell with their canine teeth. Can you try with this coconut please, before I could believe you?"

Please help! Cried another woman, my cat is in the tree, your ape ancestors I hear had prehensile arms and legs, could you please jump onto that tree to bring my little cat back to safety?

Theory-4-chimpanzee fire.

Lighting chimpanzee fire.

One day there was a heavy downpour in the tropical rainforest of Parantull, it was so cold that the chimpanzees were nearly freezing to death, they thought hard and spoke to one another, "why don’t we light some fire and make ourselves warm? They looked onto the other side of the canopy and saw a man making himself comfortable and warm, they set around a bright yellow mysterious thing and they looked comfortable. Feeling one of the chimpanzees wanted to go and have a feel of what this mysterious yellow thing is all about. It looks like bananas, then also it appears to be like ripe oranges."

It sneaked into the cabin and sat at the fireplace on his hindquarters without anyone noticing a thing. At once again he was feeling warmth of the fire rising to his hands and moving up, up to its arms, then to his ankles and then to his shoulders, he wrapped his hands around his breasts, he was very excited, very excited he was that he could feel the warmth jingling his body, he has never felt like this before, he then put out a broadened smile on its face, on its second move it unknowingly moved its hands too deep into the fire, the little boy beside the fire place at once noticed strange hairy hands stretched deep into the flames, the boy raised his eyes which met with that of the chimp. The poor creature was staring at the kid with one hand propped onto left chin, the boy screamed, "aaarghh… pap look, the teddy bear is warming himself with our fire!" his father who was several feet away now searching for more firewood turned to see what he was insinuating, only to see a hairy black thing sitting beside his son at the fireplace, the poor creature seemed undisturbed by the boys screams as the bite of the nights cold was beyond any fear he could substitute with, it sat there calmly while the little boy was frozen by terror, his father rushed in to the rescue, he pulled out a long pole to which he hit the ape who noticed it coming and ducked it just in time.

it jumped to the opposite side of the fire and sat legs crossed, the man approached it now fierce with anger and his pole clenched to his hands more firmly, he gave the ape man a second blow, it fell right into the palms of his left hands, the camper tried to pull back his pole turned into a whip but it was in vain, he pulled then pulled again, and a third, fourth time, the ape man was stronger, he gave a terrifying snarl that took the camper aback, he leaped backwards for his safety, the ape man now also annoyed and cold showed his terrifying teeth, he growled deep and howled out loud as if was calling out for other members of his gang. The camper had no choice but to let his strange visitor enjoy the warmth of his bonfire, about two and a half hours later, I mean late into the night, the ape man satisfied with the campers warmth, slowly walked away into the dark, it never came back, neither had any  other ape approach the camper's dwellings thereafter.

It was a tale to tell, man before had an ape man come so closely to his smooth skinned cousins, and still acted so bravely and so wisely(cleverly), the kid kept asking his father, "what was teddy bear doing near our bonfire last night?"

Into the woods

Once there was a man who left home and went to live in the woods, he stayed there for so many years that he had forgotten to speak the language of the people, he forgot  to speak because he never got regular contacts with the humans, his face grew with so many hairs, he looked like a huge terrifying monster, his relatives found him and tried to bring him back home, each time he was brought home, he turned  again and  went back into the woods, his mind became like an ape, he played with the apes, his thoughts were those of an ape, everything about him was all ape, he grew hairs all over, his head ,,his face, his hands, everywhere was covered  with hairs.

One day there were no fruits in the jungle, it was a dry season and the trees took too long to blossom. When he could not hold any longer, he approached a local farm and began to pick some corn from the farm as he ate, the farmer's daughter heard something in the farm and went to report it to her father, who came out with a long bow, what the old man remembers was an arrow piercing his chest, he dropped down dead, when they later found out that it was a man they had shot and not a grey haired macaque, the fellow felt so sorry for this poor man, his long lost friends recognised him and took him away to bury him in the fields, he was so much in grief, "I never knew it was a man, his hairy look made me think it was a spider monkey, so I just went ahead and shot an arrow through his heart without thinking these monkeys have destroyed my crops many times and have cost me great fortune, each time I chase them away they keep coming back, I decided to end this game once and for all, to put an arrow through the heart of every beast that encroaches on my farms " it was a sad sad day for the old man, contrary to what he has been before he died like one of the apes on an angry farmers backyard.

Theory-5- the hominid gang.

Ape man gathers his gang(troops) and says this to them, those smooth skinned cousins of ours that live inside cocoons have despised us for too long, let's go out to them and teach them some lesson, so they'd learn to respect us, they think they are wiser and smarter than we are, they have sold their freedom, slaves to their compound from which they never get out, here we are free, we can roam the entire forest the whole afternoon, go anywhere we like anytime we wish.

Darwin trains his apes very well to challenge the children of man. He sends them to go forth and steal their food, bring all their fruits to me" he commands them to go forth in formations.

He trains another team and calls it the ferocious hominid gang, they are the ones to conduct the final charge in the great raid of plain settlements.

Theory-6-the new doctrine.

People in the village often ask me, who is Darwin that I hear people talk about all the time? Is he an ape man, does he have the mind and spirit of an ape inside him, or could he be just another adventurer who is fascinated about apes, so he goes about talking ape to everyone telling them many fascinating things about apes, there are others who say that a witch caught him peeping into her secret champers and therefore cast a spell on him hoping to turn him into an ape so that he would no longer be reasonable, when her witchcraft failed on him only his mind changed to that of an ape, but his body still remained the same in form, shape & size. People called upon one another and said, "Hey folks, there is some new doctrine in town, come listen to the story of the apes"

I wish I was there when Darwin was telling people his monkey stories, so that I too would tell mine, my friend Jimmy probably there beside me then we shall prove to the crowds whose stories are more interesting and more believable. I too know lots of things about monkeys, maybe more,

When I retell these stories to others, People ask me, who was Darwin? Was he a man, an ape or both, an ape-man, he had the body of a man and the mind of an ape? He thought like an ape, and liked stories about monkeys, lots of them, he could tell you a thousand tales in a single-story session.

There is  nothing weirder than what I am hearing from these fellows, you and I have heard many stories of animals who transform into humans but nothing strange and amusing as this, I have heard of the beautiful mermaids who could not be married by men because their bodies were a half fish, I have had of the man who transforms into a werewolf in the midnight at the light of the full moon, I have heard of children of Lir who suddenly transformed into swans,  I have heard of the beauty and the beast, but not of this one, an ape man, or an ape turning into a man, I have heard many stories of humans marrying an animal and that creature later turns into a handsome or beautiful human, they then lived happily ever after, but nothing more shocking and amusing as an ape taking the daughter of a man.

Darwin may have been a great wanderer but not a proficient story teller so as to speak, he may know many things about animals, birds and creatures of the sea, but not well enough to convince us that his stories are true,

What I have concluded is that these guys are stringing us along, they think we are fools we can't reason out things of such importance

Did the ape jump onto humans and caught a flu that ultimately turned them into humans?

This is one of the most interesting stories I have ever heard, the monkeys jumped onto our women and later produced offspring's that became our ancestors. How exciting is that?

This guy seemed quite interesting, I wish I was alive during his time, how wonderful it would be to argue with him,

If they claim to have discovered something marvellous then someone must have put it there, when a sailor suddenly tumbles across a chest box full of gold on a lonely island, they say they have found the hidden treasure, but then how did the box get there? Can it dig itself into sand and conceal itself from other sailors for generations? Someone must have put it there, a one person's discovery is usually as a result from another person's hiding.

They use the experiments of other researchers who were actually doing their own things to prove their point, even if the subject matters aren't closely related, they crudely try to assimilate to different and contradicting works of others into their own stories.

Theory-7-weird folklore.

After the presentations they heard at the gatherings, many people could not believe their eyes, they were the strangest stories they have ever heard since the time of their birth, you could hear murmurings in the streets, "hey folks, did you hear that too? I heard that there is a nasty old man who is telling people crazy stories, he says once there lived apes who roamed everywhere on the earth, one winter they broke into human settlements,"

The moved here and there, doing this and that, and no one seemed to stop them, then after some time they became men then came to live among us. To this very day, thy live in our midst. How I wish I was there when he told people those stories, I will tell my own stories, we would have called all the villagers, create a small gathering then, listen to each party, I also have magnificent stories, we shall see who wins. My friend Walton is a great story teller, I have never met anyone in my life so skilled in storytelling, he gulfed down thousands of stories in a single moment, you will listen there for hours upon hours, and never getting tired, Walton would tell you thousands of stories, and there is no single day he would till you the same story twice. Walter and I would make a great team, make a small gathering pour out words to elate. He was telling people crazy stories that nasty old man, I also remember so many stories about apes of all kind both great and small ugly and beautiful.

I hear people speak about a nasty old man that goes about the villages telling them some crazy stories, he says once long ago there were Bonobos that wondered around the earth, they moved everywhere, these stories are even scarier than what my grandmother told me. Grandmother used to tell me, very long time ago, there was darkness everywhere, then there came light and now we are here. It is this light that brought us peace and happiness we see today. I thought that my grandmother was the only one out of her mind, she told me crazy stories, and your stories are much crazier than those of hers.

I hear that he spoke about apes many times, everywhere he went he spoke to people about apes, both large and small, ugly looking and beautifully clothed. He knew every kind of ape, those that were peaceful and those that caused trouble to farmers, he taught people many things about apes and people were amazed at his wisdom and knowledge, his knowledge of the forest was far greater than anything anyone has ever heard before.

I have always been amused by the stories of Darwin, I find some of his folk tales are more interesting to listen to than my own.

After all he is telling the same old stories that others who came before him are telling, though funnier and less convincing.

My grandmother also told me many stories about apes, and I still remember them to this very day, they are still vivid in my mind as the day she spoke them to me. She said, “people once lived in the seas like fish, after some time they become mermaids, half fish and half human, it’s after they became fully human, they were able to walk on the land,” the missionaries said, “some clay was moulded to form human like creatures then life was breathed into them by a supreme being then they become alive they became our forefathers.”

The students of Darwin are telling people of stories of apes, did he say APES? Wow! I love apes, its sounds like an interesting story I would love to listen to, please speak up! What did the apes do? Some of them say, "the apes secretly encroached into human settlements kidnapped some of man's daughters and went to breed with them, and their children become our ancestors," would anyone believe that? Your story is quite interesting but also very unbelievable, no wait a minute, hold, it wasn’t like that, I think he said clearly, his story goes like this, "long ago there were apes that roamed the earth before something mysterious happened to them, they…"

How can an ape turn into a man, what kind of witchcraft is that? Or is it the man that uses sorcery to turn himself into an ape then back to his former self again.

Theory-8-ape thinking.

If you try to argue with a heathen scientist, you can never win, the deeper you go into the argument the easier it is for them to convince you, they can easily convert you to their way of thinking and make you think like an ape. Most of these so-called researchers and scientists are resistant to devotional beliefs,

They look for ideas from others, even those who do not share the same way of thinking, then assimilate results of their experiments into their own theories to prove their point.

True unbeliever

A crowd had gathered outside the building of a busy street, out of mere curiosity I came out to check out what it was, some people held their hands on their mouths as they helplessly watched a baby crawled out of their living room into a sharp edge on the eighth floor of a Condo, they stood there screaming trying to warn the infant not to go any further, for it could risk falling off the edge.

Right about two floors above it was a construction worker who was carrying a huge plank of wood heading to the stairs, he was going to repair a section of the roof, but in a moment he looked like he slipped near the stair when the plank of wood bounced off his shoulders and flew right out of the gaping area between the window and the stairs, it descended two flows before landing in the midway between the two close apartments therefore  joining the two balconies, the baby now almost falling off the edge of the balcony used its new bridge to crawl across from his balcony to the other and fell right into the living room of the other  house, the repair worker who accidentally dropped the plank wasn’t aware of what was happening down below till when he heard the commotion, he watched in shock what the infant was doing, some people down below had to scream, others moaned while there are a few who cheered the infant as it crawled along a narrow plank forty metres above the ground,

When the incident is finally over there was a sigh of relief, some of the people rushed upstairs to check out the minor’s whereabouts, they wanted to congratulate its parents for the marvellous work he has achieved so far.

A priest who was standing there said, "What a miracle!" after watching the incident, a scientist who was also standing there right beside him said, what a coincidence? The priest repeatedly said it was a miracle while the scientist insisted that it was a mere coincidence, it led to an argument between the two.

All these are guys who went to Sunday schools, they know at the back of their heads that there is a creator, but they fear to credit that creator, if they do so, all their efforts would be wasted, people would stop listening to their stories, they will stop buying their curios and stop paying money to visit their workshops "why should we pay huge sums of money just to wait for hours as you drag us through your boring stories while you will eventually conclude with a creator?”

One thing I have realised with this fellow is that he usually starts his interesting stories very well but doesn’t finish, please let me ask you this, and don’t feel intimidated,

"Where did those monkeys you talked about earlier on come from, did they fall from the sky or did they ascend from the underworld? Cracks opened up from the surface of the earth and they marched out in huge formations and conquered all the earths territories, that’s what you were about to say, or should have said. Monkeys and bonobos are simply too big to jump out of nowhere."

At least we know from folk tales that the mermaid was once sea living creatures (a half fish) before coming to land and turned into a full human before being married by a handsome prince, and wolf man was a normal human during the day that later turns into a wolf in the middle of the night at the light of the full moon. He tears into pieces those that were once his enemies…

I asked scientists who were my former school mates many questions, I say this to them, "you went to Sunday school together with me and you know all truth, what then happened along the way? Is there something troubling you that you don’t want us to talk about, please open up, I will pay you all the attention you might demand from me,"

Even though many of them went to Sunday-schools, it’s all about business man, nothing else. Oh, I see, it's because you got rich that you no longer need a prayer? We went to Sunday school together, you were once cordial and submissive, not this time.

Theory-9- worthless knowledge

Once a group of travellers came across herders when they were crossing the country's plains, they have travelled from afar, a very distant land from here, they greeted the herders and soon they were in a lengthy chat each group curiously enquiring about the others way of life.

The herders said they have been in these fields since childhood, they have attended flock ever since, they know no other work other than herding, it's what they deeply depend on, last year the rains came in late, there wasn’t enough pastures for their animals and most of them died in the process, they lost more than a half of their flock.

When it was the travellers turn to tell their part of the stories, they said they were descended from a family of astrologers, they study the stars in the skies and use these to find their ways across the world, their families have done these for generations, now they are old enough to run their own enterprises, they spoke about magnificent things that happen in the skies above at day and night, the great wonders of nature, life on land and deep hidden secrets of the seas, all these they understood them very clearly.

The herders were moved by their words, they marvelled at the traveller’s vast knowledge, full of wonderful tales, never in their entire lives have they ever heard of such soundness. With their identities and backgrounds revealed to one another, the herders went on to ask the travellers one favour, "you know of all these amazing things that happen high up in the heavens and in distant lands far away from where we live, we really appreciate your soundness, but would you please do something for us before you proceed with your journey, can you make the grass grow for our flock to eat, and make our dry riverbeds run with water again so that our animals and us wouldn’t die of thirst? It’s the only thing we asked from you, wise men from the south,"

The travellers seemed to be infuriated by this request and shouted at the herders to get out of their way, "you delayed us here for a whole day asking us silly questions, we should be halfway through our journey as we speak, now you are making demands we can't meet, our job is to study and learn things, not to make things happen." they said this and left the herders in their fields.

I am fascinated about the way these fellows know so much about the stars and outer heavens, yet know very little about the person that lives right next to them, they can tell you which star is younger which is oldest which star is following which behind, which one looks like it's in trouble….tec... Endless stream of stories about stars.

What happens on the ground affects you more than what happens in the skies, stay focussed on your ground activities.

END OF THEORIES.

##

Final Clause

We have come to the end of our conversation, looking forward to connecting to you soon. We shall have more to discuss.

Please leave your thoughts & queries about this text in the comments section, if you have something that needs further elaboration or have got some burning question, you can always text me and I shall be more than happy to respond appropriately.

Write to me,

DodeSescri@gmail.com

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Thank you for your time.

More of WOTEs…

A Full list of other titles in the sequel.

WORDS TO ELATE.

- Where is my inkpot?

- Media Moner

- The Laments of a Lumberjack

- Mundi Politica

- So you still do that?

- Hand me that take this

- A world of fakes

- Show me some lab ethos

- Flying above five feet

- Techno Chimps

- Dazzling riches

- Your highness let me speak!

- Mechanical revolts

- My mirror is a liar

- The beauty of Languages

- Darwin and the apes

- Tell me something funny

- Sweep thy planet

- Savage amusements

- Hello King James

- Be Patient please

- My Adventures to great unknown

- Can you colour a rainbow?

- A deer's diet

- Speed bones

- The Roman Cultures of today

Footnotes.

My most used/favourite stylistic features

- Sharp contrast

- Heavy metaphor

- Extravagant exaggeration.

The reference to masculine characters In the above stories is not a biased motive to discriminate against any gender, it's just for the purposes of description, the authors repeated use of words such as he/him/man/king are just for the purposes of enchanting the narrative, if you feel offended by them then  feel free to replace them with whatever words you choose as you read along, these pronouns are NOT put in place to intimidate, you can also contact the author directly and specify which part should changes be made to and to what particular effect, the author respects all readers and will not misrepresent members of any class, age, status or gender. All readers are precious.

I am trying to avoid the inconvenience of having to jump from one side of the group to another as it easily puts the readers off, jumping from side to side, back and forth, here and there is really irritating, take for instance it's better to say, "the king came out of his castle, called the knights and asked him to take him out on a ride through the royal forests and left his son in charge of the castle,"  than to say, "the king/queen came out of his/her castle, called the knight/knightess and asked  him/her to take him/her out on a ride through the royal forest and left his/her son/daughter in charge of the castle"

Textual homogeneity- some aspects of the words, phrases and stories share lots of similarities with one another, the keen reader who repeatedly crosscheck between different tittles will definitely notice this trend, if characters are portrayed in such a sluggish manner that makes the text boring to the reader, then reader please remember to inform the author as soon as possible.

Cover image: A prototype of Darwin with his large ape family gathered around him, theme by the Author.

Table of Contents

Contention

Theory-1- lifeless bones

Theory-2- hymns of the great apes

Theory-3- the bite of an ape

Theory-4- chimpanzee fire

Theory-5- the hominid gang

Theory-6- the new doctrine

Theory-7- weird folklore

Theory-8- ape thinking

Theory-9- worthless knowledge

Final clause

More of Wotes.

Footnotes.